I’d call this affliction, ‘Writer’s Blah’ but that’s more like writers block, which is probably a distant cousin of what I’m going to talk about.
Lately it seems like I’m yo-yo-ing all over the place. Emotionally, at least. Because let me tell you, signing your first contract DOES NOT in any way shape or form make you stop doubting yourself as a writer.
Let’s just get that out, straight away.
You should feel like you made it…at least a little bit. And it’s nice to say ‘someone thinks I can do this’ but you can’t read it until next year. Such is the publishing world.
The next book should be a cake-walk, right?
Got an email from my editor. She liked it… BUUUUUUUUUUUUUT.
That big old “but” will get you every time.
All of a sudden you’re knee deep in the discarded wrappers of an entire bag of peanut butter cups and soggy Kleenex. Okay, so maybe that’s a little dramatic, but you get the idea. And it doesn’t matter where you’re at as a writer. One rejection slip…BAM. You tell the dental hygienist you’re a writer and she gives you a look, like, ‘yeah, right’…BAM. You’re trying to be all business-y and be all professional and junk and your husband says, ‘yeah, but it’s just a hobby’…BA—you get the idea.
Back to the drawing board.
Somehow always when I lose focus in these moments it’s because I’m forgetting where my foundation is. Duh. I should have learned better by now, but I guess our lives are a work-in-progress, not just our books. I let someone’s realistic assessment of my work dictate my worth as a human being. Go figure. But that’s the point, it’s not RATIONAL.
Jesus said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gently and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt 11v28-30)
Takes some of the pressure off, when you don’t have to carry the load. You can let go of what you’re stressed out about and say, “God, what are you going to do about this?!?!?!?! I have to re-write half my book now!”
It’s not irreverent to express your frustration/anger. Something I’ve learned recently is that God just wants my HEART.
However I’m feeling.
However you’re feeling.
Lisa Phillips is a wife and mom of two littles. She lives a double life during nap time as a writer of Inspirational Romantic Suspense. Her first book, The Ultimate Betrayal, a Love Inspired Suspense, is due out summer 2014.