Friday, January 28, 2011

Fun with Dialogue

Lisa here...

How would you flesh in the following dialogue?

“You gave me no choice.”
“No buts about it. Leave now.”

Example 1:

He forced his eyes open. Tammy stood over him. The baseball bat perched on her shoulder. His head throbbed drumbeats of pain as he struggled to sit erect. “Why?”

Her dark eyes narrowed but a smile flickered across her lips. “You gave me no choice.”


She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. “No buts about it.” She stood close to him, close enough he could smell her perfume. “Leave now.”

Example 2:

“Why?” Tommy’s brown eyes shimmered.

Mrs. Smith closed her grade book. “You gave me no choice.” She had warned him about turning in his homework. Two months was enough time. He had to learn. Maybe his report card would wake him up. He had the potential. If only he would try.

His bottom lip quivered. “But—”

“No buts about it.” She pointed to the door. “Leave now.”


Example 3:

“Why?” She rubbed the spot on her hand where her engagement ring used to be.

“You gave me no choice.” He took a picture of her off the wall and threw it in the trash.

She lowered her head. She couldn’t stand to see him in so much pain. “But—”

“No buts about it. Leave now.” He lit a match and threw it into the trash can. A lifetime of memories went up in flames.

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